TBH: We are all afraid of growth!

(To be honest or TBH is my way of dealing with issues that concern all of us. This allows me to give hard to swallow facts in terms of relationships, life choices and people that surround us. I don’t have an intention of hurting or demeaning anyone.)

Hey there,

I am in such a position that every step I take, whether its in my job or personal life. The progress I make, lands me in more trouble. It gives me more problems. It makes me struggle even more (and the pandemic isn’t helping).

So……… what’s wrong? Where do I go wrong? Is it my fault?

Of course not, the truth is we all are afraid of growth, we are all scared of taking that big step, having everything at stake and then falling down.

And I know its tough, I know there is a 100% chance of falling down, having everything at stake and losing it all. But giving up isn’t an option here. Giving up should not be the solution. Because giving up is hiding. Its like running away. And we all know what happens when we run away, we ignore and try to hide from what’s true.

It might work for some time but you cannot hide from the consequences for too long.

So now that I am in a very good position at both work and home. I am a bit anxious about if I will be able to handle it.

But one thing is for sure, I am not running away.

Next time, when you’re in such a conflict try to face it. Trust me, you will do well, be successful even. But if you run then you will run for nothing

Till then,

Bye.

When you are hurt……..

Hey there,

Emotional pain is something very hard to deal with. No kidding, so many people ruin their lives by just living with this hurt and pain.

Like something that happened today. I think people close to me use their emotional pain conveniently only to justify their toxic behavior.

The problem here is not with emotional pain and hurt. Problem is with how people deal with it. And I am guilty of this as well. I am so bad at dealing with emotional pain is that it often affects my physical health.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief. But this too comes with social judgment. This leads to more pent up emotions. And in turn more emotionally disturbed people.

As we live in a confined environment. Let’s make a promise to ourselves and to people close to us, that we will face our emotional pain bravely. And try to be more confident with ourselves.

As we all know good or bad, right or wrong, tears or smile. Our life depends on it.

Till then,

Bye.

In the race.

Holding my breath.

Getting ready.

Don’t know, if I will win.

Its a maybe.

With my open eyes.

And all my strength.

I keep running.

So I could be in the race.

Who knows if I can.

Reach in time.

Who knows if I could make it through.

If only I knew, would I have the courage to go through?

Would I have tried so hard to face…..

Just to be in a race.

Like every start comes with a finish line.

Same is with every battle of mine.

Trying to keep up and finish first place.

That’s not enough, coz every end is a beginning.

In a race.

If only words could tell what you are feeling. If only telling helped. If only there was no judgment. Everyone fights their own separate battles. If only everyone understood that!

TBH: It’s called paranoia!

Hey Guys!

It’s not a joke. Working, planning, living while watching everything turn to pieces.

Its not funny, when you switch yourself off and try to concentrate the things you should be doing. When you watch all the smiles turning into frowns, and only realize it when someone close to you tells you to smile.

Everything and anything that makes you feel like this is called paranoia. Its common amongst people who live in stressful conditions but in the current dire circumstances it has become a phenomena.

We all have been paranoid about something for at least once in a lifetime. But what about being stuck in a place with everything being so fickle that you lose the track of reality or for the use of better words you lose or think you are losing your grasp of sanity.

I had been paranoid about a lot of things lately. Last month had been full of ups and downs(more downs than ups) and its been crazy dealing with work, family and personal life. Its pretty normal when I think of it. But when I try to reflect, things look different.

With everything the pandemic has taught us……………the biggest most important lesson was being practical (at least to me) but I just can’t explain how hard it was managing even simple things that were so easy to us pre pandemic.

But then again we won’t be doing all this if it wasn’t for the pandemic. We won’t be social distancing, sanitising and remotely working if not for pandemic. Every thing happens for a reason but every thing that won’t happen also has a reason. Life might be random but the most ignorant people too know what it all means.

It means that you have to accept the things that go wrong. You have to accept that you can’t take your life for granted. You have to know what you are going to do when everything is out of control.

You can’t be paranoid! It only takes you away from reality and creates confusion. Out of everything else you can’t let that happen.

Till then, stay safe and stay happy.

Bye!!!!!

Pandemic and me: Its so hard to be a salary man these days……..

Hey guys,

How are you?

Hope, you’re doing well. Because this might take long.

A year ago, I never thought I will be seeing this day. But then again, I take everything for granted. When I know, with passing time, things get worse not better.

I know most of us these days are earning their bread and butter by setting up shop on their bedroom floors. Attending important meetings in my pajamas and taking three different lunch breaks. At least I am!

You can’t blame me for this. WFH does it to you. My WFH experience is the worst. It asks me to restraint myself from my best friend…….the internet and then there are those charges you pay without using Internet for personal use.

Well, I have thought of opting out of my well paying job(I forgot to add timely) but like I said its well paying! Many people like me will face this issue. You just can’t walk out in a marriage or a job.

Things are getting harder and my motivation levels are down. For the first time in my life. I am feeling this hopeless. Trust me, I had my moments of doubt but this time it feels like a true test of time.

Let’s hope for the best.

Till then,

Bye.

Prayer.

Blood, sweat and tears.

Lent for many years.

Sang the song.

Went along……….with fears.

Asking for ease with a day of hard work.

With everything else in a prayer.

Mind running with clocks.

Still trying to open the locks.

That come without a key.

Asks a lot to give in.

Just like a prayer

I keep on living.

Bound by a prayer.

From birth to death.

Join my hands and fret.

With the feeling of loss.

Again I forget.

So, I keep going on.

With the help of a prayer.

Do what you love or love what you do.

(This blog post will be categorized under IRL i.e. In Real life. It’s me trying to write about real life issues which get ignored or should I say remain unheard in our daily busy lives.)

Hey there,

It’s the end of March and it’s crucial. It’s been a year and three months since I am glad about not ironing my formal shirts and trousers and the same amount of time has left me stressed about the in and out timings that get recorded every time I WFH.

I really miss roaming around the office premises with colleagues. But it’s not that bad either to leave a message on group chat.

In short, I am getting used to it. There is no point in talking about the days gone by. As there is no point in worrying about how tired I look in the webcam view screen. It’s just pointless! But will I ever stop fussing over myself with enough powder and lip balm. Absolutely not!

Which brings me back to how people always reassure with this classic line. “Do what you love or love what you do”. I am sure you all would have heard it as well. It’s a bit tricky, if you ask me. Because after some time we all get used to it. The cycle of life goes on. Once you find a purpose, or should I say once you have a reason to get out of your bed every day. Then you’re going to be fine for the rest of your life.

Yes! There are unfulfilled dreams, unreached (or unrealistic) goals, and unwanted expectations. But then again we all have a long life to live. And many milestones to cross. So, whether you are doing what you love or loving what you do, remember to put your everything into it. Do it like only you can do it.

After all, it’s the reason good enough for you to get you out of bed every day.

Till then,

Bye and have a nice weekend!

TBH: They blame you to get their way.

(To be honest or TBH is my way of dealing with issues that concern all of us. This allows me to give hard to swallow facts in terms of relationships, life choices and people that surround us. I don’t have an intention of hurting or demeaning anyone.)

Hey there,

How you doing? Its been a ride. Seriously, so much has happened since my last post. But I have to agree, change is the only constant thing.

Here’s a thought, have you ever realised that people often speak the truth when they are angry and frustrated? If not then look for it and you will realise that what I said is true.

But let me tell you if someone is blaming you for no reason at all then they are trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty. God, I had spent so much time beating myself over such pathetic attention seekers. But slowly, I realised that this is so misleading. It doesn’t even make sense!

You know what’s more shocking? These crazy manipulators don’t even know that they are trying to manipulate someone into feeling guilty. To them they are the righteous people who are at loss. In a way, they really are pitiful. But do they deserve pity? Absolutely not!

I feel really bad for those who have to deal with such people. During pandemic, a lot of people complained about how family members were trying to fight over simple things that were blown out of proportion and later resulted in blaming each other for current situation.

It brings me to another question, exactly how much are we used to not seeing family members all the time? How much time do we devote to pointless goals and leisure? How much do we detest the people we cannot stand? And how can we change that?

Till then,

Bye.

Hope.

I have been up to it, for too long.

I’ve been ready.

I made up my mind, gonna win this.

Nothing can go wrong.

But the road is full of twists.

I am bound to fall.

Hope, its too hard………

To conquer it all.

I’ve been up to it, all this time.

Got up so early.

To me, messing up was a crime.

But the way is full of turns.

And I am bound to fall.

Hope, its too hard………

to conquer it all.

While hoping, I forgot

With every step, there’s a fear of fall.

Yes, its hard to rise………

After every fall, try and rise.

If you believe, you can conquer it all.