Pandemic and me: why are you scared?

(Note: From now onwards all the pandemic related posts will be labeled and categorized under pandemic and me.)

Hey there,

Its a burning issue for me these days. Now its been a year and we know what corona virus is?,what it does?, How to be safe?, And why everyone’s so scared?

Why everyone’s so scared? This is something that bothers me a lot. And if people close to you were affected by pandemic then you will be too. What really bothers me is the carelessness involved in asking “why so scared?”. The utter irresponsibility with “I am healhy so why are you bothered?”. The sickness and self centered attitude in “Everything bothers you, calm down!”.

The root cause for this might be lack of empathy but somewhere its also lack of responsiblity. “How can something I normally do, would harm you?” is what goes on in every such person’s mind. I don’t blame these people, they might not be a spreader too. But they are being careless nonetheless. Careless in the sense that they think people who care are just scared and need to take a break. And that’s their attitude just about everything else.

Getting through with these people is a big challenge. Its bigger than confessing a crime or selling insurance policy to someone. These tough times have tested our patience and strength. But beyond that its testing our humanity.

Now its up to you if you want to win or lose.

Till then, take care of yourself and your loved ones(no matter what others say). If you do then more power to you!

Bye.

Tabula rasa.

Sometimes its okay to be a clean slate.

Sometimes you got to turn a new page.

They call it a new beginning.

Then why am I in this state.

Sometimes its okay to be confused.

Sometimes you just can’t choose.

They say its a new day.

Let go, its okay!

It used to be my empty mind.

Now its the almost empty room.

They say its a new beginning.

Let it go, its okay.

Nothing lasts forever.

But we can together.

Its a new awakening, Live it up with all we have.

Let it go, its gonna be okay!

Valentine’s week special: I think I know.

Hey there,

Its valentine’s week, so it means I and all the people around the world are bombarded with silly notions of love passed as romantic gesture.

Not that I am against the day of love (but I am called anti valentine, don’t know why?). But why showing love to your loved ones has become a social liability. Why sweet school kids sharing chocolates and not so sweet middle aged couples feeding chocolates to each other matter so much during this week? Is it about getting attention for the most frivolous thing or is it about just having fun. I will never know.

I get it, some of us need valentines day to make up for all the wrongdoings. To ask for forgiveness, for every forgotten birthday or anniversary, for every fight, for all the pain. But why it should be judged by how big the bouquet is, or if its favorite chocolate or not. Why its more like show off than showing?

I can’t take the commercialism out of the day of love. I can’t ignore it. Its a business opportunity for the new era. And why not? Buying means caring, right?

Valentines day comes with its own upsides and downsides. We love everything that’s sweet and innocent and serves a purpose. The valentines that you give and take can be used as a symbol of love and care. Even if you don’t show it all the times. Its a proof, and no one can deny it. But what about things that matter. What about understanding, being compassionate towards your partner and above all, being supportive.

Why isn’t valentines day a celebration of all that. Maybe, like they say, its not for grown ups. But valentines day can allow you to act like a grown up and know love for what it is.

Happy valentines day! (In advance)

Till then,

Bye.

Wanting

Do they think, when they ask.

Don’t you want what others have?

Your friends got married,

One has a kid of five,

Why won’t you want everything that others have?

He’s got a promotion.

She’s got a new car.

Can’t you atleast get a new haircut?

Its due, so far.

Don’t you want what others have?

Its a tricky question, of them all.

If they knew what happiness means.

They will be doing instead of asking.

They will value their loved ones.

And help the ones in need.

But now they are busy asking.

Why don’t you want what others have?

There’s no point in otherwise.

They have nothing else to say.

I would answer simply, I’ll want what I’ll get.

What they are not telling you…..

Hey there,

A lot happened to me this week. And I thought a lot too.

Everytime, someone asks me “what’s going on?” I think its more about them and less about me.

Not that they are not interested, everybody likes good little gossip now and then. But to me, this show of concern is off putting.

Many people agree that staying at home during pandemic have kept them from boring, unnecessary or forced social interactions. But what they are not telling you is that they are relieved from having to talk to people or even face them just out of…..You know, social norms.

Man is a social animal. But man has a heart, a mind, a conscience. And it all depends how well kept it is. We all are broken in one or the other way. But our unwillingness of social interaction could lead to being misunderstood as warped, weird, egoistic or even a psycho.

Not everybody is like that(yet some of us are……..without our knowledge, ofcourse) but who is going to make that judgement? Especially, when our social image is based on judgement. All we can ask for a little thoughtfulness, a little kindness and lots of space. Even if we don’t get it, then we always have a choice…..a choice to ignore.

Afterall, we too are also judging this person who wants to know more about our life. Even if its for comparison to theirs. Even if its for “how good” or “how bad”. We are sailing in the same boat. Again, we have a choice, it all depends on what we tell.

As we have slowly upped our social interactions, the usual small talks are bound to happen. But one things for sure, we always have choice and we don’t need to regret it.

Till then,

Bye.

Letting go.

It feels too good to let go.

Like fists and sand grain

And then the day breaks.

Relieving my pain.

It feels okay to let go.

It keeps me busy.

And then my heart breaks.

Making me crazy.

All the while, letting go sounds good.

My tears fail and my fears win.

Does it matter who’s at fault?

It all depends on the mood.

Everything is out of control.

Hey there!

I take a deep breath to calm myself and write this post.

Well, I still remember scratching my knee while playing in kindergarten and then rushing to principal’s office to get first aid and after that limping everywhere and waiting for it to completely heal so that I can play again and get hurt again and it goes on and on.

Its just the same with life. Its not about winning(no matter what your social media feed says) but about trying. As soon as you accept it, it makes sense. If my family and friends read this then they would call me a softie(whatever that means), silly, loser and someone who writes feel good motivational crap that people read and forget in a minute. And yes, its true!

But writing or doing anything while bothering about what other people will think makes me feel like being stuck in that “waiting to heal so that I can play again” phase. It keeps on telling me that I had been a loser for making some choices in the past. For getting hurt and waiting to heal.

But what they don’t understand that past decisions, present situation and future is all momentary. Its all right just for that time and it could go wrong after some time. Nothing is in our control. Life……..not at all.

As I am trying to make sense of the world we are living in right now. I want to do it right. Yeah! I am hurt. Yes! I am trying to heal. And I have to make some choices that may or may not be right in the future. But, I am not alone. I am not the only one doing this.

And I keep on telling myself that as I go on with my life.

Trust me! It works! Like magic, everything that’s out of control feels like it can be controlled.

And then its all gone.

Till then,

Bye.

Stepping back.

Stepping back, we do it all the time.

Coz, somethings should be done.

To be able to climb.

Stepping back, to prove a point.

Some battles were easily won.

With just insight.

Stepping back, even when its a long way.

Anyone can do it,

By thinking bright for brighter days.

Stepping back, its a choice.

Or a responsiblity.

Weak for others, still an ability.

Reflections 2020.

Hey! there,

Wow! We are almost there. We made it. We safely went through this transition of a year in a world wide pandemic. But is this worth celebrating? As my friends in chat groups argue over how we are expecting a lot from this new year. I am like “No, not at all”.

This happens for every new years eve. Doesn’t it? I think this one came on a weekend so cheers to that. But its just the same every year, but not every year is not as rubbish as 2020. Not even close. The new more deadlier virus is still out there and here I am. Counting the days when I could sleep well, when I would find some kind of semblance, when I am feeling a bit hopeful.

We all got used to the new normal. To sanitizers, masks and social distancing. But as soon as I leave home to complete a crucial task that won’t be completed without leaving home. I feel sad watching the reduced number of rides on uber, the less number of rikshaws on road. The closed cafe I met my childhood friend when I came to this city. The toy shop that suddenly disappeared behind closed shutters where I spent an hour buying gift for my little brother. Not that I have never seen businesses close in this city, its quite common. After all, people in cities are always rushing to malls for pop up stalls and we never bat an eyelid when a new instagrammer pulls out a magic trick and becomes successfull enough to get thier own pop up at a mall, taking over someone else’s. But pandemic didn’t close businesses, it ended them. They can’t reemerge after a break. Even we can’t reemerge after this kind of setback. I mean how many things were put on hold because of this. Didn’t I lose a crucial job opportunity because of pandemic. And I am back to stage one: apply and wait.

So no matter how many virtual parties I am invited to. No matter how cool stay home parties sound. Its going to leave a bitter taste in my mouth and my mind.

But, when I reflect back on this year. I feel more empowered. I feel like I can do this, against all odds. This year has given us hope in a strange way. Yeah! Most of our plans are ruined yet through waiting and fighting we are afloat.

Its a strange combination. But a useful one. Its quite natural. Tells about the duality of nature and duality in us.

So, wish you all a very happy new year!

Till then,

Bye.

P.S. I would like to thank all the people for giving thier precious time to this blog. Thanks, for all the likes, comments and follows. It means a lot and keeps me going. I hope you all would keep on supporting me and I promise to do better in the new year.

Thanks, again.

Christmas Special: I refuse.

I refuse to give up, I refuse to back down.

I refuse to be sad. Just because the times been bad.

I refuse to shed tears, this time around.

I refuse to tolerate, the lull that keeps me awake.

I refuse to burst out, even when my heart breaks.

I refuse to infuriate, when I am sitting alone…..with a cup of hot chocolate.

I refuse to fester, when the party is over.

Tis’ the season, to give and share, to discover.

Hey guys,

Merry christmas and a happy new year in advance.

We all are going through tough times. Things have gone awry. And its getting ghastly. But I refuse to think negative thoughts.

Frankly speaking, I had it easy all through the year. Though there were some life altering setbacks. And I thought that there isn’t going to be a future.

But, I did this all the time. I dwelled on the bad things and what would happen ifs?. I never lived in the moment. Never smiled for having a good time.

The things we do to be practical!

But, I want to feel the excitement and cheer. That feeling I get every year. Afterall, you should always support friends and family but that doesn’t mean not to celebrate when good times arrive.

This year cheer up if you feel like it too.

Till then,

Bye and enjoy.