TBH: Is it just me?

Hey there,

I always thought that if you do good then it comes back. My naive optimistic brain needed to learn. But to be honest it is said that good deeds don’t payback. But are they meant for that?

Can you really do good so that karma won’t bite back? Can we be safe just doing good……..in the eyes of others?

Karma aside(I have some problems with it, but that’s a topic for another day), but we can’t rely on doing good when the definition of good changes from person to person.

Did I mention that you might be forgotten. Since we live with internet we know a thing or two about attention span and it really doesn’t work well. Nobody remembers good things you do unless you do bad and they come to get you.

I might be wrong but am I?

People always tell me that he/she is using you and what’s the point in being sincere when you know these people don’t care. And guess what! I agree!

No matter what you would always want to be loved, cared and cherished. And one thing leads to another. If you are not loved, if you’re  not cherished and cared for then what could possibly inspire you to do good. Why don’t go raise hell?

I feel for those people who do so much and end up uncared for. Each and everyone of us deserves love. And for me you won’t get it with self absorbed people who only know how to take.

Thank god, I am a fast learner!

Till then,

Bye.

TBH: I get ignored all the time, But why?

Hey guys,

I had been thinking……… Is it just me or………

So me and a bunch of friends we were talking and as soon as I start talking they won’t stop they won’t even acknowledge that I am present and I am talking and start talking on a completely different topic.

Just like that! Ignoring me.

And this happens many times. Not that I am a bore or anything (they don’t even tell me if I ask) and I can keep up a conversation. Trust me, I can.

But this is foolish. I regret it, everytime is sit down with a group talking and chatting. And this keeps happening.

Some of my friends tell me that I can keep up a conversation but I am a good listener and talk only when I want to talk. Basically I am not a chatter box. Some say……….that I am not really interested or want to talk only when others are talking about things that interest me.

They might be right but I am not wrong either. As our world is changing and so are our ways of interaction. Our way of thinking is changing too. I mean, I like it when friends use dancing lady emoji to say something naughty or just to convey that they are happy. I find it funny but I also understand that its easier to convey our thoughts effectively in chats by using emojis, memes and a voice message here and there.

I have been in chat rooms, discussion forums and DMs. And I know I never get ignored if I appreciate with heart emojis, write in all caps for emphasis on certain words or send in a meme or sticker to make things interesting.

Maybe I had my answer but I was not ready to accept.

Now I do.

Till then,

Bye.

Independnce day Special post: a landmark.

Hey guys,

Happy independence day!!!!

Yeah! Its been a long time and to me my hiatus felt a bit too much but it was necessary. So much happened, I had to clear out. And I think I am done.

So here I am! Its India’s 75th independence day and a landmark for all who bravely faced the worldwide pandemic. A lot went down, many plans were wrecked and everybody ran a race against time and hard times.

I can’t speak for everybody. But since I faced it all so I can understand. Times like these make me question how exactly can I empathise with people. How my problems are not your problems, so how can I reach common ground?

Maybe, I should stop trying and just mind my own business. Or I can just add the typical “I understand”. Trust me, I do.

All I am trying to say here that all those who won some of their battles and all those who lost some of them, please don’t worry! You did good.

Its okay to be tired of trying, its okay if you get hurt. You cannot stop just because you want to and why should you when you don’t want to. I get it all.

All I am saying is its ok, its fine.

Its alright if you tried.

Its a sign that you will get it done in the next try.

At least that’s what I tell myself.

Till then,

Bye.

They’re not your friends

hey guys,

Last week was…………….pathetic. So I had no time to write a post.

so here I am now.

Ever wondered the people who say that they understand/care/mean well. Why are they giving you the time that they can spend doing something else. Why are they indulging in your pity party?

The answer again is simple.

They want something from you.

Now you might be thinking we can already guess that but can you really tell when the time comes.

We all need a confidante, a friend, a keen ear or a shoulder to cry on. But its most disappointing when the people around you are using your grief, bad times or vulnerabilities to get close to you.

Or even worse to get something from you. I feel bad for those who have to go through this type of situation. When you don’t know who’s really sympathizing and who’s faking?

We know we need love, sympathy,empathy, etc. Everyone’s fighting their own battles. But when do these battles turn into backstabbing and double crossing fights. We can never tell.

All we need to do now is to look out for signs that show us the real face behind the mask. And we need to stay strong above all

After all, we can’t always find a shoulder if a tear escapes unknowingly.

till then,

bye.

Imagine there’s no heaven.

hey guys,

Its been more than a year. Everything has changed. I not only completed an important business skills course online. But have successfully continued WFH. Yeah! There are ups and downs(more downs than ups, usual you know!) But the bottom line is I am fine.

Right from getting used to, I have completed the journey to living with it. This global pandemic has been a teacher in many ways. There were some moments that made me think “Hell! Why am I dealing with this?” “What exactly went wrong?” “Why am I trusting these people?”

To be honest, I don’t like half of the people I meet and live with. None of us really do. But does it make us a misanthrope. Absolutely not! We need closure, we need a sense of sanity we need that much needed scratch on the back.

So even when I am struggling through the month I am relieved to talking to that one friend who never forgets to ask “how are you?” That one friend you can really trust.

So every time listen to this song. It doesn’t remind me of john lennon and drug abuse and wife beating and blasphemy and deadbeat dad and double standards(okay! I try to ignore it)and what not.

but of course of the reality of this songit. That heaven might not really exist. But yeah! There are some people who might make you feel like you are close to it.

And

till then,

Bye.

TBH: Its a mad mad mad world.

hey guys,

I can’t explain how hard it is for me these days. Most of the time, I try to get things done and it never works. At work I try to give my best and it doesn’t work either.

I everybody faces such difficulties in a more or less levels. But my point here is that we my might have to face consequences for the things we are not responsible for. We all work hard, we might falter but still we work hard. But sometimes we won’t reap the benefits of it. And that’s fine as well.

Its a mad mad mad world guys. And giving up is not an option(at least for me). Just think about it! If you give up without trying we you ever know what went wrong and what you should do about it?

Absolutely not! You need to accept the reality. You need to know why some things work and why other things don’t?

And its not about the world where we live. Its about us and who we are and what we can do.

With that thought I will be starting this day. To know who I am and what I can do?

Till then,

Bye.

Fear

• 

Living with it.

Dying with it.

Fear became my best friend.

Without knowing it.

Smiling with it.

Crying with it.

Fear is my teacher.

I learn from it.

Walking with it.

Running from it.

Fear is my Companion.

It never leaves me.

Breathing with it.

Feeling it.

Fear is my warning bell.

Can’t explain what it gives me.

IRL:Drunk in power.

• 

Hey there,

I always come across these kind of people. The kind of people whose only sense of gratification comes from how much money they make, what professional and social position they have or whom they are acquainted with. I feel bad for these people. I really do and they make me laugh.

Wanna know why? Because they make a complete fool of themselves. Flexing, bragging, goading…….what is it all for? Pure entertainment, guys!

Real story: As I heard this guy go on and on about how he knows a certain person or how he can buy a certain thing or how he can treat people in whichever way he pleases. He became even more unimportant to me. He kept on bragging and I kept on ignoring. Everything he said might be true but the reality is that this really doesn’t matter.

Yes! No matter how much you argue, all these things don’t matter. You don’t walk with a special spotlight marking your presence, every road you walk on is not covered with rose petals and every time you make an achievement won’t impress everyone.

The reason for this is simple, people can’t relate to it, they don’t know about it and they don’t really have to. What really matters is how you see others, how you treat others and how much you value them.

Seriously, this works!

Still, if you wanna brag? Be ready to be a laughing stock.

That’s the only reaction you will get.

Till then,

Bye.

TBH: When you are mad……..You are also silly.

(To be honest or TBH is my way of dealing with issues that concern all of us. This allows me to give hard to swallow facts in terms of relationships, life choices and people that surround us. I don’t have an intention of hurting or demeaning anyone.)

Hey guys,

Its me again! And I think this in and out thing that’s going on with this blog is making it even more interesting.

This has become a place where I can dump all my thoughts and move on. But frankly speaking, I love writing these posts and now it has become a very important part of my life. So much so that I am writing everything I want to write. Its like I don’t even have to think, I can turn every thought into a topic of discussion.

So enough with my self obsession and let’s continue with our topic for today.

Have you ever noticed when you are angry you are actually silly to everyone else around you.

Have you ever? No! Just give it a thought. Last time you were mad about something and everyone else was like “you are being silly”

Right! Don’t worry I hear you.

Wondering why this happens?

Simple! Because everyone else around you is not facing the same problem. They can’t get IT!

Scary, right?

Yes! But it’s not your or their fault. They are not ignorant nor you are silly. Its just that one can do so much to understand and get along. Its one thing to empathize but its completely different to face the problem and deal with it.

I don’t blame the people who get mad when it gets tough. But I understand that different things and situation have different value in one’s life.

As we all know, that we are bound to lose it once in a while. Let’s be more understanding to the one’s who can’t keep it sane.

Till then,

Bye.

Laugh now, cry later.

Hey there,

I just love drake. So much so that I loved that scene in the TV series insecure where the main lead awkwardly confesses that she likes drake no matter what.

And why not! Can you make a track like in my feelings and start a worldwide phenomenon. Whether its hotline bling or God’s plan………… Drake has always been surprising and cool.

Yeah! Some might argue about his double standards when it comes to women but that’s a whole another discussion meant for some other day. I wanna talk about this track called laugh now, cry later and why I think about it so much these days.

So enough with the fan girling and let’s start.

This track is an emotional roller coaster when it comes to pain, longing, rage, happiness and feelings of insecurity.

It makes me question do we really hide these feelings in that attics of our mind. Only to live in the moment that’s over too soon. I always think that we avoid dealing with complex emotions just to keep an appearance. There’s something very toxic about the show must go on.

But there isn’t enough space for a person to deal with all these feelings. People are ready to judge but they are never willing to understand.

We are not willing to understand ourselves how can we expect that from others.

The whole idea of laugh now cry later attitude is about biding time and laughing as much as we can and trying not to cry for the time being.

But we should cry, we should express our disdain and then start anew.

As a person everyone should be allowed to do that!

Till then,

Bye.